Please Grant Me a Glorious Regret [Novel] Chapter 12

It was a gamble.

Impulsive, yet she had no regrets.

Arte's greatest weapon was none other than the lingering image of Phelia.

Though the problem was that she couldn't quite fathom why, the fact remained: Dimion saw Phelia when he looked at Arte.

He was a man who seemed like a god with the whole world beneath his feet.

The only time he showed any human agitation was when it came to anything related to Phelia.

It was likely Dimion's only weakness.

Therefore, she had to seize it and shake him with it.

Arte was not oblivious to how cruel it was to use a dead person, and a dead lover at that, but she had no other choice.

"Was there anyone, Your Grace?"

No answer followed her repeated question.

The silence was the answer.

It was clear that none of the women the elders had forced upon him… No, perhaps no one who had crossed his path since Phelia left, had reminded him of Phelia as much as Arte did.

"Keeping your fiancée's seat empty, refusing to take even a common lover, you do it all because you don't want to forget Lady Darton. You don't want other memories overwriting the ones you share with her."

On one hand, she could borrow his wealth and prestige just as she hoped.

On the other, she might incur the wrath of Rocata and plunge into an even deeper abyss than before.

"Every other woman would try to erase her and carve themselves over that spot, but not me. Carve your memories of her onto me."

She didn't care if she had to burn through a lifetime's worth of luck right now.

Arte sincerely prayed and prayed that Dimion would yield to her persuasion.

"I will act like Lady Darton. Her manner of speech, her habits, her tastes, from one to ten, I can match them all."

The distance between them had closed thanks to Dimion stepping closer earlier.

Arte carefully reached her hand out toward him.

Her destination was his hand.

Calloused as proof of being a well-trained soldier, his hand was incredibly large and firm.

Her soft, delicate hand grabbed his large one.

Praying that her pounding heartbeat wouldn't give her away, Arte guided his hand to cup her own cheek.

"A portrait or a photograph frozen in time may not satisfy your longing, but a living doll will be different. I can speak, I can move, and you can touch me like this, Your Grace."

It was an audacious act.

It was also a kind of provocation.

Dimion's wavering eyes were proof of that.

"Do everything to me that you wanted to do to Lady Darton."

Arte knew better than anyone how utterly insane it was to offer to be a living doll replacing a dead person.

But right now, she had to pull Dimion in, even if it meant doing something insane.

The man standing before her was the sole salvation for Arte and the Count's family.

She absolutely could not lose him.

"Everything I wanted to do?"

It was a smile that blurred the line between a scoff and a sneer.

Breaking his long silence, Dimion moved his hand from her cheek and gripped Arte's slender jaw.

"How far do you think I wanted to go with Phelia?"

Her clumsy provocation boomeranged, attacking Arte instead.

There was a blazing fire within the pale green eyes meeting hers.

To make matters worse, the sky behind him was stained dark red, making it feel as if a massive fire were swallowing her whole.

"If I said I wanted to tangle together like beasts until the break of dawn, are you confident enough to strip naked and roll around in bed with me?"

Arte bit her lip without realizing it.

It was something she was prepared for.

Both her body and mind would be dragged through the mud, but she could endure it.

After all, Arte had already trapped Dimion between her legs in her dreams.

That strange dream, which brought a flush of heat just by recalling it, turned into an inexplicable courage that spurred her on.

"I can do it."

When she replied firmly and clearly, Dimion burst into a scoffing laugh.

It was evident he found it absurd and didn't believe her sincerity in the slightest.

"I really can. If you want, I can strip right he-…"

"Strip, then."

His reply followed before she even had a chance to finish her sentence.

The sheer speed of it made Arte freeze for a moment.

Both his gaze and his words were equally chilling.

Countless thoughts raced through her mind in an instant.

She had chosen a secluded place where no one was around, so there was no chance anyone would see her naked body.

However, that didn't diminish the shame of undressing outdoors.

"What's wrong? Can't do it now that it comes down to it?"

Why was his provocation so effortless?

Without dragging her hand toward him or bringing up Phelia as Arte had done, Dimion made Arte's emotions flare up with just a short question.

Biting her lip tightly, Arte immediately moved her right hand above her collarbone, to where the buttons of her blouse started.

She grasped the small, round button, but no matter how she moved her fingers, it wouldn't unfasten.

Glaring at Dimion defiantly, Arte looked down in a panic.

"…!"

Looking down with a hint of irritation, her eyes were met with the sight of her violently trembling hand.

She hadn't even realized she was shaking, let alone this much, and she couldn't help but panic.

She tried hard to calm herself and steady her hand, but it absolutely refused to listen.

She couldn't be like this right now.

She had to show Dimion how resolute her determination was, so showing such weakness would never persuade him.

Ultimately, Arte raised her left hand as well.

She intended to take off her blouse even if she had to use both hands.

His face was even colder than before.

It was as if he, the very person who told her to strip, was angry that Arte hadn't backed down and actually tried to undress.

It was incredibly baffling.

She couldn't begin to guess what was going through his mind.

However, this was no time to cling to every single one of Dimion's emotions.

Since he had stopped her, she could no longer appeal to him with this kind of resolve.

"What I told you earlier is all that I want. I swear there is nothing more I desire. Peter returning home safely and being freed from this wretched debt is all I need. I'm not asking you to simply give me the money I'm borrowing. I will pay it all back."

"By what means, exactly?"

A hollow laugh spilled from Dimion.

He was scoffing even more than when Arte had declared she could roll around in bed with him.

"By painting. I hide my identity and sell paintings under a pseudonym. I've even paid off some of the estate's debt with the money I've earned so fa-…"

"You paint?"

She didn't even have time to explain how long she had been painting, how talented she was, or how much money she had made.

The moment Arte answered that she painted, Dimion grabbed both of her arms like a man possessed.

"I'm asking you. Do you paint?"

"…Yes. I paint."

It was not a question to get so agitated and desperate over.

It wasn't exactly a world where a noble lady painting was considered a bizarre novelty.

Arte, who had frozen at his sudden change, soon figured out the reason.

"Did Lady Darton paint as well?"

Once again, silence served as the answer.

She knew it without him having to say a word.

Those eyes, wavering more violently than ever before, were proof enough.

"If you want, I can paint exactly like her. I've done many reproductions."

She didn't have time to marvel at the fact that Phelia also painted.

She had to quickly overlay Phelia onto herself.

Realizing she needed to press her advantage, Arte immediately dropped to her knees.

Knowing full well the grass would ruin her dress, she didn't hesitate in the slightest.

"Please, Your Grace. I'll do whatever you wish. If you ever say I'm no longer useful, I will leave your side at any time without lingering attachment. So please, make this contract with me."

Arte looked up at Dimion with a desperate expression.

Somehow, her earnest sincerity had to reach him.

Dimion stared down at Arte without answering.

As time passed, the turbulent waves in his eyes settled.

It was impossible to tell if this calming shift was a signal plunging her into the abyss or a sign of revival.

Arte simply prayed and prayed, begging for Dimion to bend to her will.

"Wait until dawn. That will be your answer."

Leaving that ambiguous opening, Dimion turned his back on Arte.

He didn't pull the kneeling Arte to her feet, nor did he look back to check on her.

"…"

Left entirely alone, Arte remained frozen in a daze for a long time.

By the time she stumbled to her feet and returned inside the estate, dusk had fallen and darkness had set in.

A startled Lisa asked what had happened, and Martha along with the other maids fussed over her, but Arte didn't open her mouth throughout the long night.

She just waited and waited for the sun to rise with wide-open eyes.

"My Lady!"

When dawn finally broke, Martha frantically pounded on the door.

Arte, who had been sitting leaning against the large paneling beneath the window, immediately sprang to her feet.

"Young Master Peter is…"

Seeing Martha sobbing and unable to finish her sentence made Arte's heart drop to her stomach for a moment, but the words that followed allowed Arte to let out a breath of relief.