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Why? Why this trope? Why is she so f*cking DENSE when being astute and noticing signs is practically her trademark? WHYYYYYY
I think it's self preservation. She know everyone besides her family would gut her immediately if they found out she's a black mage. She's also lived her entire life knowing she is one, everyone hates her basically, and even if she wasn't she feels like she's not special like her siblings. She's grown an inferiority complex and she can't even imagine someone loving her for her or being interested for anything other than her siblings.
It's exceedingly sad because her family clearly loves her. But it does make you wonder if they'd accepted her as readily if they weren't already dead and turned undead when they found out about her "gift".
I have a theory that the ancestors of her family actually married a dark mage, making her abilities not exactly a fluke (the dream she had about meeting Lev and what he was saying made me think so). If you think about it, it was mentioned that the barrier around the island was made with parts of the sould of the 13 ancestors; would they not need a dark mage to cast a spell like that to begin with? One with her exact powers, even?
I do hope she manages to climb out of the pit of low self esteem, but more than anything the attitude towards dark mages has to change for her to be truly accepted, and that's unlikely since it seems like most dark magesare in fact evil cunts who deal with devils. So either people close to her find out but accept her and only her, or the mages on the island turn out to not be evil jackasses like Claude and blondie, and the world finally stops persecuting them? I guess we'll see. So far i like the story; it seems like at least a moderate amount of wit was used to write it. I'm excited to see where it goes.
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